Confession time…

I have a confession to make. It took me a year or so to lose 40 pounds. And only 4 months to gain half of it back. The “freshman fifteen” got me for about 7 pounds last semester, and my injury got me for the other 13-ish. I stepped onto the scale Monday–well, actually I balanced on it on one foot, and made a mental note to weigh my walking boot to subtract those 2-3 pounds. Do you know what the scale said?? It said, “Get your fat ass off!” Then I had my daughter take my photo later in the day, and I had that “OMG is that what I look like?!?” moment. Let’s just say, it wasn’t an awesome day for the self esteem.

My BFF, Claudine, reminded me the other day that I already have all the basics figured out. And she’s right. I know what I should be doing. Knowing what to do and actually doing it… now that’s the hard part, isn’t it??

scale memeI’ve been trying to get my shit together for a couple weeks now. And I haven’t done too badly, considering. I’ve been taking two steps forward, one step back. It’s time to stop taking the one step back. Enough is enough. I’ve wallowed. I’ve been complacent. I shimmied into my jeans and it was a poppin’-fresh-dough moment. Enough is enough.

Let me interject something here: I know it isn’t all about the number on the scale. I know that. But I also know I’ve eaten a ton of crap that I refer to as “a chemical shitstorm,” and has made my junk-food-junkie of a daughter look in disbelief and ask, “who are you and what have you done with my mother?” And I have felt awful — physically — because of it. The goal is to be healthy. I’m not doing things to meet that goal.

One of the things that helped me before will (hopefully) help me again. I posted all my successes and setbacks on social media. I’m sure there were people who got tired of seeing my posts, but I figure that’s why there’s an unfollow button. It was the friends who cheered me on when I did well, encouraged me when I was frustrated, and sent me messages saying “tell me what you’re doing so I can do it too!”… I owe a lot of my success to those people. I couldn’t let them down. Now, I have this forum (and my meager number of followers) that I am accountable to. I don’t want to let you all down, just like I didn’t want to let my friends down.

I’ve done this before. I can WILL do this again!! It’s time to get back to the basics (and at the request of  some friends, I’m going to share them here!)

 

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3 Comments

  1. Weight loss is a hard road, but you’ll get there! At the moment I’m trying to stop myself study snacking and persuade myself to start going to the gym again, but like you say, it is difficult to develop new habits. Xx

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