I have a confession to make. It took me a year or so to lose 40 pounds. And only 4 months to gain half of it back. The “freshman fifteen” got me for about 7 pounds last semester, and my injury got me for the other 13-ish. I stepped onto the scale Monday–well, actually I balanced on it on one foot, and made a mental note to weigh my walking boot to subtract those 2-3 pounds. Do you know what the scale said?? It said, “Get your fat ass off!” Then I had my daughter take my photo later in the day, and I had that “OMG is that what I look like?!?” moment. Let’s just say, it wasn’t an awesome day for the self esteem.
My BFF, Claudine, reminded me the other day that I already have all the basics figured out. And she’s right. I know what I should be doing. Knowing what to do and actually doing it… now that’s the hard part, isn’t it??
I’ve been trying to get my shit together for a couple weeks now. And I haven’t done too badly, considering. I’ve been taking two steps forward, one step back. It’s time to stop taking the one step back. Enough is enough. I’ve wallowed. I’ve been complacent. I shimmied into my jeans and it was a poppin’-fresh-dough moment. Enough is enough.
Let me interject something here: I know it isn’t all about the number on the scale. I know that. But I also know I’ve eaten a ton of crap that I refer to as “a chemical shitstorm,” and has made my junk-food-junkie of a daughter look in disbelief and ask, “who are you and what have you done with my mother?” And I have felt awful — physically — because of it. The goal is to be healthy. I’m not doing things to meet that goal.
One of the things that helped me before will (hopefully) help me again. I posted all my successes and setbacks on social media. I’m sure there were people who got tired of seeing my posts, but I figure that’s why there’s an unfollow button. It was the friends who cheered me on when I did well, encouraged me when I was frustrated, and sent me messages saying “tell me what you’re doing so I can do it too!”… I owe a lot of my success to those people. I couldn’t let them down. Now, I have this forum (and my meager number of followers) that I am accountable to. I don’t want to let you all down, just like I didn’t want to let my friends down.
I’ve done this before. I
can WILL do this again!! It’s time to get back to the basics (and at the request of some friends, I’m going to share them here!)